


Tiger by Stripes

by Freyjabee



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: AU, Angst, Drugs, F/M, Love, NSFW, Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:15:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25115992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freyjabee/pseuds/Freyjabee
Summary: K, for the way he kisses me. I, to be the object of his infatuation. L, for the way he looks at me, L, for the way he lies to me. E, for all the enigmatic late nights. R for the romance of it all. (Nalu week 2020, oneshot)
Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Tiger by Stripes

**Author's Note:**

> This is a NaLu week spin-off of Stars in the Sky (I'm a day early for AU. Whatever). Forgive me for this nasty piece of trash. (Like, I thought I was done with the Heartbreak universe buttt I'm a basic ho and I love what I love, all good bad things.) My semi-ff retirement is back ON. (But Gold Hour and Beauty the Beast are still ongoing, no, I haven't forgotten about them.)
> 
> Onward.

_All my stitches itch_

_My perscription's low_

_I wish (I) you were queen_

_Just for today_

* * *

The funny thing about tigers was that they were a lot like monsters. They had sharp teeth and piercing eyes. A sharp sense of instinct. A predator's conviction that just wouldn't quit. Mostly, though, they had stripes, and the stripes wouldn't lie, no matter how you washed and brushed them, painted them into something new. They'd always be the same, underneath it all. Lucy knew that. She wasn't an ignorant girl. She even saw what Natsu's stripes looked like before he swore to change. She knew about the violence and the addictive poison he'd use for avoidance. The nights that it got bad, when he'd hold his ribs and shake, sweating and chattering, dreaming of heroin, the monster, she would wrap her arms around his waist despite his fevered cries, and hold a damp cloth to his head.

Stars in the Sky Lucy loved her monster boy. And he loved her. She reminded herself of that as he stumbled into the apartment well past three. She waited in their bedroom with the blankets pulled up to her shoulder despite the oppressive heat, eyes closed, wondering if she should be dreaming or awake.

Other girls might be sitting up, questions primed. _Why do you smell like perfume? Why are you covered in blood? Why are you out so late? And are you high?_

She knew the answers to all of these without his having to tell her. He smelled like perfume because his mark had a beau that wasn't prepared to let her man go out like a candle. He was covered in blood because Natsu was almost _always_ covered in blood. His eyes were going to be glassy but not with heroin or Percocet or any other drug of choice, but adrenaline. Natsu was fueled by fury. He ate it the way other people drank water. He _loved_ it. _Lived for it._ Now more than ever. It worried her. Where was the boy that thought of college when his brother was arrested?

_Tigers, Lucy_ , she reminded herself. And tigers were beautiful. Predatory, calculated, sly. Not house cats. They weren't built to be anything but killers.

_Killer._ K, for the way he kisses me. I, to be the object of his infatuation. L, for the way he looks at me, L, for the way he lies to me. E, for all the enigmatic late nights. R for the romance of it all.

Her friends asked her why. Lucy asked them _why not._ She couldn't explain it. But when he came in and peeled his jacket off his body, when he picked his way through the bedroom to their en suit bathroom, when she heard the water sluicing over his skin, washing the red away, she was as disgusted as she was pleased. _Stars in the sky_ Lucy. Stars in the sky Lucy loved to have the black around her so she could light up its life.

She turned onto her back as he came into the room. It must've been raining because his hair was slicked back to his head. Surely, he heard her move but he didn't say anything as he went into the washroom. He was always cryptic like that when he came back from a 'job'. Like she didn't know what Jellal was having him do. Like she didn't see the bruises or the ghosts in his eyes. Sometimes, she wanted to scream at him. _You're not your brother. His crimes aren't yours. What's done is done and you don't have to keep living like this. It doesn't always have to be this way._

He'd never listen. He was hard-headed and once he got an idea, he'd never let it go.

Another reason she loved her monster.

Lucy listened to the _splat_ of his wet clothes hitting the floor and then the spray of the shower hitting the bottom of the tub. On another day, she would roll the sheets back and go to him, but the gloom that emanated off him as he entered the apartment was catch-your-breath oppressive.

So, she lay in their shared bed and remembered all the ways he was hers, and all the ways he wasn't, frustrated that he wasn't better, glad that he was there with her. Furious with her cousin for providing him with a means to continue the trend, and damning Natsu for taking it. He _was_ part of the family, and Lucy knew what that meant, though her father had tried to keep it from her for years. _Zio_ Acnologia never bothered.

_Be proud, Lucia,_ he'd roll her name elegantly. _Be proud of what this family has accomplished._ The bodies and the grime and the scrutiny of the law. _Be proud, Stars in the Sky, be proud, Law School Lucy._ Somehow, the only feeling she could ever drum up was sickness and want. How could it be both? How could she be so compartmentalized?

The shower turned off and the curtain peeled back. Lucy put her hand beneath the sheets and touched between her legs, slipping between her folds, and marvelling at her wetness. Pleasure had often been an outlet for her frustrations, and she'd conditioned her body to expect it. She sighed gently when she caressed the sensitive bundle of nerves, still on edge but the bottom was in sight now. She made small, slow circles, anticipating when Natsu would exit. She wanted to throw herself at his feet and tell him she was no better than anyone else like he thought. She was just as hungry for conflict as he was. She wanted to beg him to stop. She only half wanted him to listen.

Lucy reached under the T-shirt she wore, taken from Natsu's drawer and squeezed the swell of her breast, pinched the peak of her nipple. She bowed into the sensation, tentative, wondering how he would feel when he exited and saw her in such a state. Sometimes, he wanted to simply go to sleep, other nights, he sat restlessly in the office chair across the room, tapping his fingers almost silently against his leg, jonesing, while Lucy first pretended to be asleep, and then actually passed out.

She was swollen now, and slick. Her fingers slid freely across her body, dipped in, out again. She could come if she pushed it. But Lucy never did. She preferred when Natsu pushed her over. She didn't know what she'd do if he denied her. Scream or wail, end the charade. She squeezed her eyes tight.

_Charade._

_C_ for the way you call me. (He'd spent weeks avoiding her phone calls. Lucy thought she'd go crazy). _H_ the way your heart beats for me. (How many times did she think she was going to lose him to the beat of heroin?) A, all the other girls you had while avoiding me. (And the man Lucy tried to forget Natsu with, too.) R is for the regret you felt, coming back to me. (He was the person that did all those awful things. Both knew it. Might as well just accept it.) A, all the ways you love me now. (No one had ever loved Lucy the way Natsu did. Not even when they were trying to replace the way Natsu loved her.) D, don't ever forget how. (How they laid in the bed of the Dakota, staring at the stars in the sky, dreaming of ways to break free.) E, for how easy we fall into entropy when we're not together. (Alone, all they could do was self-destruct.)

Natsu opened the door, bathing Lucy in the glow of the light. She had the blankets down and her shirt pulled up over her breasts, exposing her body. She didn't even care, couldn't find the modesty to be self-conscious. She wanted him to see her. _Her._ She wasn't like the other girls he used to take home. She wasn't like any other girl in the world, and she wanted him to treat her as such.

At first, when Natsu turned out the light and draped his wet towel over the sitting chair (god, she hated when he did that, but she loved the naked plains of his body) Lucy thought he didn't notice her. Her determination rose. She would be seen. But then he came to her side of the bed and pulled the sheets back further, exposing her legs and her working fingers. He took her by the knees and pushed her legs all the way down to the mattress, subjecting her to the humid air, his insidious gaze.

He held her there for long moments, watching her work, looking distant by the weak glow of streetlights through the thin drapes. She thought she should ask him if he liked it at least. She might if she was daytime Lucy. This Lucy, though, this Stars in the Sky Lucy. She didn't need vocal validation. She could watch his cock growing heavy in response to her body and be wickedly satisfied.

Natsu leaned in closely and breathed across her fingers. Lucy's body tightened like a ship's bow rope, anticipating the flick of his tongue. It wasn't just a gentle taste, though, he made his tongue flat and wide and licked all the way from her clit to her opening and then back again. Lucy gasped, unable to help herself. That gasp turned into a weak moan when he moved away again. He was never able to stay still for very long these days, though he'd kicked his habits and gained some weight back, gave himself something to focus on—the brutal sculpting of his body, the merciless pounding he gave it each night he went hunting with Jellal for those that might do the Heartfilia-Fernandez name wrong.

Natsu used his left hand to slide up her leg to her entrance. Lucy realized his right hand was bandaged from his fingers to his wrist. Broken? Fractured? Who was the unlucky victim and what did they do to deserve Natsu's reckless wrath? He could justify anything if it were for his family. _Just like his brother,_ she thought, and hoped there was no grave digging tonight.

Natsu curled his fingers inside her, finding the perfect spot to stroke. He leaned forward as he did it. When she came, he always liked to be kissing her, experiencing it with her, swallowing her moans, feeling the scrape of her nails, her teeth, the upheaval of her bared breasts. When Lucy thought of all the ways he worshipped her, she was utterly helpless. The orgasm slithered over her like the baking July sun and Lucy was shivering, yet still slicked with a fine layer of sweat.

"That's a nice thing to come home to," he whispered against her lips.

_Where did you go? What did you do? Who did you hurt?_

_Hurt._ H, I hardly breathe when you go out at night. U, sometimes it feels like my loyalty is literally undying, despite how unhealthy I know that is. R. Romance, romance again, romance always. I love the romance of it. T. I think I'm addicted to the turmoil.

"I missed you."

Lucy pulled him down onto the mattress and go onto her knees. Natsu's hair clung to the pillow, wet, and drops of water slicked his shoulders. Anticipation lit in his eyes. _Months_ they were separated. Natsu insisted they weren't right for each other. Months went by and Lucy tried to be like the other girls he filled his bed with, drunk, impetuous. It took a long time to realize he was trying to make them like _her,_ impulsive, lust-hungry for him, not the other way around.

She settled low on his legs and kissed the tip of his cock. He pulsed rigidly against her lips. Natsu grabbed for her hair, taking a handful in his unbandaged hand. She could see the bruises across his knuckles, almost smelled the old blood, but it was just the iron of the water.

Natsu lifted his hips and she took him into her mouth, slow, wetting him from tip to base with only a bit of struggle in between, but she would do it for him, push herself, like he pushed himself for her, both outside their comfort zones and relishing the way the unknown felt around them.

When Lucy tasted precum on her tongue, she eased back and situated her hips over his. Natsu's eyes were open and locked on hers. He touched her with his good hand, and with his bad, the good cupping her right breast, the bad on her left hip, holding her tight to his body as though she were air, and he, drowning. That, too, wasn't healthy. Nothing they did together was ever any good.

She couldn't imagine doing it apart. That didn't work, either.


End file.
